Bill Simmons Is A Fucking Moron

Bob sent me this Bill Simmons article and thought it was funny because he's secretly anti Celtics and enjoys when people make fun of them, especially my favorite player Rajon Rondo.

Anyways, moving away from Bob and onto someone who knows even less than Bob about basketball, Bill Simmons. Bill Simmons stopped being funny years ago, and I haven't found anything he has done in 7 years funny or even informational. He is a dumbass that is living in LA and trying so hard to stay cool in Boston.

Anyways onto this article, I'll give you the ones that made me spit out my coffee;
Ordway: "Unfortunately, it's been slim pickings for Celtics fans ever since. You drafted poorly; you signed a slew of washed-up veterans; your biggest trade completely backfired; you haven't uncovered a single gem; and you've managed to piss off all the starters on your team by repeatedly throwing them into trade talks, then ADMITTING IT PUBLICLY while calling these players old. It's been quite a run. Let's bring out two of those lousy signings right now … ladies and gentlemen, Keyon Dooling and Chris Wilcox!"

Dooling: "Danny, you could have signed reliable bench players like Kurt Thomas, Reggie Evans, Shannon Brown, Earl Watson, Mike Dunleavy — "

Wilcox: "Or, you could have waited and held your free-agent exceptions for a chance at Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith or maybe even Aaron Brooks

and later on
(Sam) Presti: "If you want to improve this year's team, turn your expiring contracts — KG, Ray, Chris, Keyon and Jermaine — into better players and don't worry about cap space. For instance, let's say you offered KG's expiring contract to Dallas for Shawn Marion and Lamar Odom — Cuban might jump at that because he's desperately trying to clear money for Dwight and Deron this summer. He needs to dump Marion's deal to do it. That's why you see him on Twitter pimping Marion to boost his trade value — it's comical. Turn KG into Odom and Marion and you're better right away — Marion is still one of the league's best defensive players. Plus, you'd save about $4 million in tax money."

Presti: "Anyway, offer them Rondo and Jermaine O'Neal's expiring for Gasol, a deal which saves them $24 million in tax money these next three years. I can't imagine them turning it down. You'd need a point guard, too, so offer Ray to the Clippers for Mo Williams and Eric Bledsoe. They desperately need a two-guard; they might be dumb enough to say yes. If they turn it down, settle on Mo and a future first for Ray, if only because it's always good to own two first-rounders from the league's most jinxed franchise. Mo's contract expires next year, and you can always re-sign Ray this summer."

Presti: "Look at your new team — Gasol, Brandon Bass, Marion, Pierce and Mo Williams as starters, with Odom, Wilcox, Pietrus and Bradley as your first four subs. If Gasol and Odom get going, that's a dangerous 6-seed in the East, right?"

He claims that Danny Ainge hasn't made a good move in 4 years and claims PJ Brown is the last good move he made. That's absolute nonsense, he glossed completely over the fact we heisted Brandon Bass for Glen Davis (who is having the worst year of his career)

Was I a little surprised he spent 3 mil on Chris Wilcox? Hell yea, I hate him, but I get the logic, we need a athletic, big man and he was the only one around. There was nobody else available, and I doubt we would have been happy if we saved the contract for mid season for a chance to get JR Smith, Kenyon Martin or Wilson Chandler.

So now he wants Gasol, Brandon Bass, Marion, Pierce and Mo Williams as starters, with Lamaw Odom being the 6th man, c'mon man? Have you seen Lamar Odom play? He may be having a worst year than Big Baby. With the Pierce/ Marion tandum out there, one of them would have to play the 2 guard, which they would be completely out of place. And Mo Williams mentioned in any situation to lead a team is never a good thing. This guy is a gunner that masks for a point guard, no thank you.

What people are lacking to think is that;
Simmons is a fruitcake
We are in the 5th year of a 3 year plan
A quarter from a 2nd title
Everyone passed on DeAndre Jordan, it ended up being a good pick up by the Clippers
We are old, and it's becoming evident. Although I still hold hope, I get it that there is a great chance we dont win a title this year.