I found this hilarious....
Louis CK and a Child - watch more funny videos
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Celtics VS Bobcats
Bobcat night, used to be fun, but now it seems like everytime these two teams square off it give me a heart attack. The Bobcats have been streaking and the Celtics are an emergency room. The Celtics will still win this game, but it will be physical, intense and be decided in the last 45 seconds.
Sorry for the BS preview. But Fuck You.
T.A. Rajon, because he tools on Felton.
Jay Cutler Story
I usually hate Mark Schlereth, but I thought he did a good job talking about the jay Cutler story. I have been defending Cutler, but the way he is handling this is wrong. I still think he is a good QB, but there is no reason for him to have taken this so far...
Why Not?
Well I killed 8 mins at work watching a montage of some of the best moments of the Conan O' Brien Show , so why don't you do the same?
The Best of Conan - watch more funny videos
Sports Illustrated Is Fucking Stupid
Sports Illustrated is coming out with their 2009 MLB Preview. Blah, blah, blah...they end up picking the Mets to beat the Angels in the World Series. Sorry, that is fucking retarded. The Angels if anything have taken a step back after last year. They lost Tex, Santana is hurt, Lackey is hurt, Vlad is a year older, Hunter is a year older. Sorry they might not even make the playoffs.
Now the Mets...Yes they fixed their bullpen, but they don't have the starting pitching to do this. Santana is nasty, but you aren't going to win it all just on him. I like the Mets offense, but i just don't see them having enough to get past the Phillies to make it to the World Series.
Sorry, I know predictions are predictions, and here at DC we make a lot of bold ones, but that Angels pick really pissed me off. Maybe I could be wrong, but I just don't see it happening.
Breaking News: Cutler For Romo
This makes sense two overrated Douchebags for each other. The terms for the deal are being sorted out now. To read the full story Click Here
Joba Chamberlain Pleads Guilty To DUI
"New York Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain pleaded guilty Wednesday to a Nebraska charge of drunken driving and was given probation (ESPN)."
No real big story here, but the good news for Yankees fans is that this will not affect his season. I really like how the judge handled this...
"You probably worked long and hard to get where you are today," Judge Laurie Yardley said before sentencing Chamberlain to nine months' probation. "It takes about 10 seconds to wipe all that out." Chamberlain nodded and said, "Yes, ma'am," and Yardley told him "don't come back."
Though I would have thrown him in jail if he called me ma'am, but the Judge was cool about this and didn't get all high and mighty. Joba has been looking great during spring training, and is ready for the season to start. For some reason I just don't see him being able to stay healthy as a starter. Eventually I see him being the next Papelbon, and closer for the Yanks, but we'll have to see how my prediction works out.
Arizona Wants Mark Few
"Arizona's coaching search is now centered on Gonzaga's Mark Few. Multiple sources told CBSSports.com that Arizona used third-party representatives to gauge the interest of Few as early as November at the Old Spice Classic in Orlando, and that informal conversations continued this past weekend, right after North Carolina eliminated Gonzaga from the NCAA tournament (Sportsline)."
No way Few takes this job. Arizona' program has been decimated by departures and a lack of recruiting (yes I know they made a nice run this year). On top of all that Arizona is being investigated by the NCAA. Few has a good thing going at Gonzaga, and the only thing Arizona can offer is the program's tradition. So, I think Few will stay at Gonzaga until a more stable program offers him a job.
Tony Allen Returns Tonight
"Tony Allen, who has missed 35 games with injuries this season, will return to action when the Celtics play host to Charlotte tonight. Allen has not played since Feb. 8. Allen, who injured his left thumb in practice two days later and has been out for 22 successive games, went through a full practice session Tuesday (Boston.com)."
If you read this site then you would know I don't think very much of Mr. Tony Allen, but I will try to be positive about this. The Celtics' glaring weakness has been the play of their bench players (especially at guard). Hopefully Tony Allen can at the very least add some kind of defensive spark. Still, I don't see him coming back having that much of an effect, but at least he is getting some games under his belt so Doc can decide if he will be useful for the playoffs.
Great Quotes From Joe Paterno
"Everyone says it's a black mans game. When I played it was a Jewish mans game."
Is anybody else surprised at this? He is a godzillion years old and doesn't even know what year it is.
Me and Bob go back and forth on this because he hates him and I love Paterno and hope he dies coaching. Either way, Penn State will be nothing without him.
Gisele Kind Of Deserved This One
From Bridget Moynahan's camp, "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever."
So last week Gisele here are some ridiculous quotes about Tom's bastard son. In Vanity Fair, Bundchen not only said John was "100 percent her child," she added: "It's not like because somebody else delivered him, that's not my child. I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he's my son, from the first day . . . He's my little angel -- the sweetest, most cuddly, loving baby. I feel blessed to have him in my life. I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that. But to me, it's not like because somebody else delivered him, that's not my child -- I feel it is, 100 percent."
I want to take Gisele's side because she is super hot, and even though I think she is a bitch in real life and tell myself she isn't that hot, I would get an instant boner if I saw her. But Bridget is right about this, drawing attention to someone when you're constantly in the spotlight isn't going to do any good for that person. Either way, they should probably fight naked.
Maybe Jon Vilma Shouldn't Loan His Condo To Scam Artists
Police on Tuesday were investigating whether two African immigrants were shot in the head at a Long Island condo owned by an NFL player in retaliation for a fake money scam.
The bodies of Sekou Sakor and Ansu Keita turned up in New York City last week around the time neighbors reported gunfire at a vacant condominium in Woodbury, N.Y., owned by Jonathan Vilma. There were no arrests. ESPN
Jonathan Vilma has had a rough offseason this year, first was the reckless driving charge, and now a bunch of African scam artists get murdered in his house. Either way I think Vilma is not going to get in any trouble for this, but it still is ridiculous.
Tigers Makes Another Surprising Move
Well it is that time of the year. The time when teams finally round out their opening day roster. Yesterday the Tigers made the surprising move of cutting Sheffield and eating the $14 million he had left on his contract. Today the Tigers announced that that 20-year-old Rick Porcello had won a spot in their starting rotation despite having never pitched above Single-A. I usually like kids moving up fast through the farm system, but this is a little much. I know they don't have a lot to choose from, but at least give this kid a couple starts in AAA before throwing him to the wolves. How many innings will this kid be able to pitch this year anyways?
The Tigers like to do these kinds of things, but we have seen it come back and bite some of their players. Some could argue they did this to Verlander, Bonderman, ect. He might be good this year, but I worry about his arm holding up. Since Verlander has been a pro his velocity has gone from...
'06: 95.1 mph
'07: 94.8
'08: 93.6
I would make the argument that they didn't let him progress the way he needed to. I really like this Porcello kid, and I think he will do well, but I worry about long term damage this team may be doing to him, and for what? A team that most likely will not make the playoffs...
A Joke To Brighten Your Day
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
It's Not Time To Panic Yet
The shutting down of K.G. has sent a lot of Celtics fans/ Boston media into a panic. I even was a little nervous yesterday but after sleeping it off, I like it. K.G. is hurt, and his knee may be worse than anyone thought, but he is a baller. He needs the rest and if his knee is going to fall off, I would it rather be after the playoffs are over then against the Grizzlies. K.G., Pierce and Ray Allen all need to rest during the final stretch. The Celtics have a good enough team to win even if they play with limited minutes. We already conceded that we aren't going to catch the Cavs, and it seems as if we aren't too worried about giving the Magic home court in the second round. So who cares. The Celtics are a championship team, and luckily we have three players that realize how to step up in the playoffs. K.G. is a veteran, he knows he is going to play come playoff time, so why does everyone care?
So relax Boston and remember this is what we need to do to win our 18th title.
Baby or Hard Work?
hard Work Leon Powe
or
Big Baby Glen Davis
I'm not giving up on this season at all, however, Bob scared me a little when he brought up next year and everyone aging another year. The biggest off season question we are going to have to go through is Big Baby or Leon Powe. Both are free agents and both are going to demand between 3-5 million a year. I have a soft spot in my heart for both of these guys, because even though they may not be the most athletic, best sized big men, they play bigger and stronger than they are. Both players have stepped up in crucial times when we needed them too. Leon Powe absolutely killed the Lakers in game 2 last year, and has been an absolute garbage man in the time he plays. He can rebound, score inside, take a charge, and has an uncanny ability to get to the free throw line. Even though he is undersized he is a good defender.
For Big Baby. Baby has played out of his mind of late when K.G. and Leon have been out. He has made the loss of those two a lot easier. He has developed into an absolute great bench player. He is physical, he hustles, he defends, he rebounds and he actually has a decent mid range game.
To me, you have to pick Baby. I believe Leon is the player that we see now, and I believe Glen has a higher ceiling. So even though I will hate to Leon in another uniform, I will accept it. But hell, maybe we will sign both.
Mike Anderson Gets 7 Year Deal From Mizzou
"Missouri has signed head coach Mike Anderson to a new seven-year contract, athletic director Mike Alden told ESPN.com Tuesday night.
"We are excited Coach Anderson is going to be at the University of Missouri for a long time," Alden said in a statement. "He's done a tremendous job rebuilding our basketball tradition and is poised to lead our program to new heights in the coming years."
Financial terms were not official but projected to be in the range of $1.3 million to $1.5 million, up from his salary of $850,000 annually. Anderson's Missouri predecessor, former Duke assistant Quin Snyder, earned a base salary of $1.015 million before he was fired three years ago." ESPN
Proven this year, Mike Anderson can coach. He got Mizzou to make a ridiculous run this year, and he has done a great job for Mizzou. Anderson will have to earn his salary this year as he losses seniors DeMarre Carroll, Leo Lyons and Matt Lawrence, three starters who combined for nearly half of the team's scoring average of 81.5 points this season. At least they have Chris Paul's cousin Miguel Paul, oh wait, he lied. Mizzou is fucked next year.
Morning After Reaction To John Calipari
"Kentucky officials told Katz that Calipari will receive an eight-year contract for $31.65 million plus incentives. Kentucky paid Memphis a $200,000 buyout. The exact details of the contract will be revealed at Wednesday's news conference introducing the coach.
Earlier Tuesday, Calipari told a confidante that he was also receiving a $2.5 million signing bonus." ESPN
If Kentucky wants to be back on the national spotlight, they certainly got the man who can get them there. Coming into this year, Calipari had the best recruiting class for Memphis next year, and you have to assume they are going to follow to the coach to Kentucky. SG Xavier Henry, SF DeMarcus Cousins, PG John Wall are all assumed to follow Calipari to Kentucky, and if Jodie Meeks and Patrick Patterson return, we got a ridiculous looking team starting next year. Yesterday I said that Kentucky will win the SEC, and in two years win the NCAA Tournament and I will stand by that.
At least Ashley Judd will be happy.
Daily Red Sox Spring Training Update
Red Sox 8 Rays 7
- Clay Buchholz's final Grapefruit League start fell apart in the fourth inning. Buchholz allowed six runs and nine hits over 5 1/3 innings. Sill overall he had a hell of a spring, and the Sox are really hoping that this spring training was the beginning of the emergence of Clay.
- Jason Varitek hit a HR in the 4th. He went 2-4 raising his batting average to .233 for the spring.
- Masterson pitched 2 2/3 innings allowing 1 run on 1 hit with 3 Ks to get the win. Ramon Ramirez pitched a scoreless 9th to get the save.
Other Notes:
- The Sox officially sent down Buccholz after this game. Penny seems to be on his way back, plus the Sox have a day off during their first week of the season, so (if needed) Penny can get an extra day off.
- Boston also sent down Jeff Bailey. He was beat out by Chris Carter. Both had an excellent spring.
- Boston has 4 spring training games left. They play Pittsburgh, Minnesota, and the Mets twice.
Boston's game today against the Pirates is at 1:05pm on NESN.
Broncos Want To Trade Cutler
The Broncos said, "Ahh, fuck it, we will trade Cutler after all." Normally us at DuelingCouches.com would just write a rant piece on how much we hate Jay Cutler or are annoyed by Jay Cutler and end it by telling him to die, however, this is April. It's a new month. So I am going to analyze the potential solutions and scenarios that may happen.
The Broncos will have a ton of people in line for getting Cutler, but the most interested will be the Lions, Jets, Bears, and Buccaneers. I also am assuming that the Broncos don't want the first overall pick because the ridiculous money they will have to give Stafford, so that leaves them with the Jets at 17, Bears at 18, Bucs at 19 and Lions at 20. The Broncos now could do a couple things in just get picks or get picks plus a decent QB back. I'm not saying that Kyle Orton is a good QB or even a decent qb, but he is the only worth while qb on any of those teams. Another option would be trading him to Cleveland and getting Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn back, but I'm not sure either team will want to do that. My gut feeling on where Cutler will be next year is the Jets. Last year the owner of the Jets said, go out and get Brett Favre and they did, so I believe he is going to say the same thing about Cutler. If Cutler went to the Jets that would put them in instant superbowl contention. Not because he is a great qb, but because he is a good qb. He will not disappear like Brett Favre did last year, and will always keep defensive backs honest because he can air it out. This will make Thomas Jones and Leon Washington that much more important and scary.
For Denver this would give them a couple of options. The first one is that they could sign a guy like Jeff Garcia or Byron Leftwich to hold the fort down and draft a guy like Josh Freeman or Mark Sanchez(if he is still around). Either way it looks like Cutler got his way and I hate him and wish he dies.
Bruins 3, Lightning 1
The 3-1 score doesn't really capture how fully the Bruins dominated this game. They outshot the Lightning 39-25. They very easily could have won 5-0 or 6-0.
Zdeno Chara had a Gordie Howe hat trick (goal, assist, fight). Blake Wheeler notched his 20th goal, as did Chuck Kobasew. The Bruins now have six 20 goal scorers. Last year, there were only two Bruins with 20+ goals.
The Bruins didn't play down to their competition. They maintained their intensity for 60 minutes, making few mistakes, and giving maximum effort at all times. Lucic, Chara, Ward, Bitz, Bergeron, and even Savard played a remarkably physical, yet controlled game.
The Bruins seem to be hitting their playoff stride.
They now have 108 points, their most since 1993. The Capitals are 9 points behind, and New Jersey trails by 10. With 2 more wins, the Bruins clinch the #1 seed in the East.
The all-but-eliminated Ottawa Senators come to town Thursday night. The B's are 4-0 against Ottawa.
-The Commodore
Chick Of The Day
Today's chick is Georgia Jones, and oh look, she is in my favorite position.
For more Georgia Click Here
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)