Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dueling Couches Writers Compared To Boston Celtics

BMack and DP equal 2001 and 2002 Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker

We are still immature and have things to learn, but make a hell of a duo. Our potential at this time is endless but we aren't living up to it at this moment. I guess I'll take Toine due to him being my favorite player at that time. So that leaves BMack as Paul Pierce. I can relate to employee number 8's excessive dribbling with my excessive comma use and bad grammar and BMack can relate to Paul Pierce's bad shot selection with leaving words out in sentences. Either way, we make it work together. Hopefully, I don't get traded for Raef LaFrentz though.

The Captain is 1985 Kevin McHale

Probably the best sixth man in history and probably the best off the bench writer we got. Not only is he a better writer than BMack and I, he is a Hall of Famer. He bring stability to our frantic ADHD style. His unflappable post moves equal the way the Captain uses the English language to formulate sentences. But with that comes the kevin McHale bitching which the Captain does if someone ever says anything bad about the letter B, Brady, Belichick, and Bruins.

Pat O equals 2003 Walter McCarty

We Love Waltahhhh and Pat O. Just like the way Walter did some great things infrequently Pat O fits the mold. Whenever Pat O writes we love what he has to say. However,much like how Tommy could have been a little insufferable with the "I Love Waltahhh" BS, his Patriots bias is a little insufferable. Plus he is a bastard when it comes to fantasy baseball.

Woot equals 2005 Gerald Green

All the potential in the world but never lives up to it on DC. He can relate to Gerald's athleticism, shooting and dunking, but lack of work ethic can relate to his awesome writing but his lack of capitalizing and spaces. Sure he makes the points, but he overlooks the simple things. But also, hes going to be a movie star one day and eventually support all of us.

Beerman equals 1980 Nate "Tiny" Archibald

His career at the Celtics started off poorly, as he showed up twenty pounds overweight. However, he adjusted and helped guide the Celtics to the best record in the NBA for three consecutive years (1979–1982). He started slow with DC, but is picking it up recently. Nate was a feisty defender, just like he is a feisty defender of ShEli Manning and the Giants and TeBoner. Obviously the nickname is spot on.

Wilde equals 2007 Kendrick Perkins

Perk thinks he is a lot better than he is just like he thinks Duke and J.J. Reddick are a lot better than they are. He comes in big during college basketball just like Perk comes up big against great post players. Still his infatuation with Duke is gay.

Others to note:
Brian B equals 2001 Joe Johnson. Streaky player for the Celtics but showed signs of flashiness. Same thing can be said about his writing for DC.

Debo equals Scot Pollard (2008) drops funny stuff every once in a while.

The Mick equals Len Bias. One stopped writing, one stopped breathing.

The Answer equals 2000 Danny Fortson. both are extremely angry.


Anonymous said...

Are you in a ton of Debt too DP?

BMack said...


Since I am Pierce does that mean Xaverian 03 is going to stab me?

Better buy a leather jacket.

DP said...

Yea, I am in debt (thanks college) and you better watch out BMack

Coobs said...

another comparison:
BMACK, you are Robert Kennedy and Xaverian 03 is Sirhan Sirhan

...there is zero relevance, his name just came up on Jeopardy last night so it was fresh in my mind

Dueling Couches said...

So not only am I going to get stabbed, but apparently assassinated also. Wow, I have had better days.

Pat04232 said...

I wear my Kentucky '96 ring proudly

ContractYear said...

WHO IS LEN BIAS? I would like to be him.

rob said...

I'd like you to be Len Bias too.

Xaverian 03 said...

I would love to stab this site. But this was actually pretty cool. I like when you guys admit and put down your other writers.

rob said...

Sweet sentence