Thursday, August 28, 2014

OMG Aaron Rodgers is SOOOOO Funny

I totally forgot that when football starts, so does Aaron Rodgers hijinks. Here Aaron Rodgers and Matt Flynn go to lunch in some funny suits.... I mean come on.... this is classic Rodgers. If it's not him being hysterical in real life, it's him being great in the discount double check commercials or photobombing players....


Aaron Rodgers is the most insufferable overrated QB in the fucking league. He's in an offense where any QB can succeed, has had all of the weapons any QB could have ever needed and can't win a come from behind games. Rodgers is a paltry 5-25 when trailing in the 4th quarter. And even in game winning drives he's fucking awful he only leads his team to the victory 25% compared to top QBs in this category Tom Brady at 57% and Big Ben at 54%.

Go away Aaron.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Hunter S. Thompson's plan to shorten baseball games, then my plan

Baseball games are too long. Sunday's 8-6 game between the Red Sox and Mariners took 4 hours and 7 minutes, or 247 minutes. That's enough to watch 10.7 Simpsons episodes (without commercials).

In 2000, the late Hunter S. Thompson wrote a Page 2 post about the need for baseball games to be shortened. I recommend reading the full article, but here are the main thrusts of his proposal:

1. Eliminate the pitcher, replace with a pitching machine that can throw curves and sliders, controlled by the catcher
2. All games to have a 3 hour time limit. Highest score when time runs out wins.
3. Score determined by total bases, not runs.
4. Runners can run to any base.
5. No balls or strikes, each batter gets 5 pitches to get a hit.

All good proposals, but few have a chance of gaining acceptance. Here are my less entertaining but more feasible suggestions.

1. No timeouts for batters or pitchers with nobody on base
Except for unusual circumstances, like a batter getting dust in his eye, batters and pitchers shouldn't be allowed to step out of the box or off the rubber. When they request timeout, they must give an explanation to the umpire. If pitchers hold the ball too long, the umpire can call timeout and issue a warning, and the next violation will result in a ball.

2. No warm-up time for relievers
When a pitcher comes in from the bullpen after warming up, why does he need 2 more minutes to warm-up? If Tom Brady goes down in a game, Jimmy Garoppolo won't get 2 minutes to warm-up. If a reliever needs 2 more minutes to warm-up, he ain't warm.

3. Time limit on manager's deciding to review a play
In other sports, coaches have a limited time to decide to challenge a play. But in baseball we've seen managers and players delay while managers decide to review or not to review. So even if no challenge is made, time is wasted. Managers should have 20 seconds to decide whether or not to review a play.

4. Fewer reviewable plays
Fair or foul, homerun or not homerun, and plays at the plate. I'm tired of seeing neighborhood plays at second, and bang-bang plays at first being reviewed. There's too much philosophy involved. When do the ball and glove become one? When is the ball "in" the glove, when it's surrounded by the glove, or when it's secured? What if the ball is within the glove, but the ball is still moving? Does an umpire falling in the forest make a sound if no one is around to hear him?

I'll end this post the way Thompson ended his.

"Purists will bitch and whine, but so what? Purists will Always bitch and whine. That is their function."

-The Captain

We Need To Sign Yoenis Cespedes To a 7 Year Deal ASAP

In 22 Games as a Red Sox player Yoenis Cespedes is hitting .267 with 4 HRs 19 RBI 23 Hits, 15 runs.... He also has been very clutch when he needs to like 2 days ago and even yesterday he had a game leading hit. The Captain and Mike bashed him when he came here but this guy is a hell of a player and a guy to watch. But the best thing to watch is David Ortiz batting in front of him in the 20 past games that he has played with Yoenis he is batting .364 with 5 hrs and 16 RBIs.

Yoenis has not only made the offense as a whole a better offense and with us signing Castillo it's only going to get better. I think that if the Red Sox are smart they give him a long term deal ASAP because he is an absolute stud.

BTW the Sox won last night.

But seriously sign Yoenis to a mega contract.... All in time.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Patriots trade Logan Mankins to piss everyone off

Maybe Bill Belichick and the Patriots decided to make this move because all the excitement and optimism from the fans and media about the 2014 season was making the Pats players too cocky. It's a diabolical plan to fight overconfidence. Trade an All-Pro offensive lineman to Tampa Bay for a tight-end that was falling down the Buccaneers' depth chart. And make that a tight-end from Rutgers, so sports radio pundits have something simple they can repeatedly be sarcastic about. Change the noise surrounding the team from Super Bowl predictions, to spoiled fans whining and moaning.

This is an ingenious scheme to make the fans and media worry about the offensive line, which will in turn cause the players to remain humble and hungry.

Or it's an example of how improving at one position costs you at others.

Tim Wright caught 54 passes for 571 yards and 5 TDs last year. And that was with Mike Glennon throwing passes to him. He's listed as a tight-end, but he's a WR/TE hybrid. He's 6' 4" but only 220 pounds and isn't much of a blocker. He played receiver in college.

The Patriots have better pass catchers today than they had yesterday. They also have more cap space (Wright's cap hit is just under $500,000, and they save about $4 million by trading Mankins) to sign a replacement guard or improve at other positions.

Patriots fans and critics have been pining for better receivers. Did they think such improvement would be without a price?

The Patriots have a worse offensive line today than they had yesterday. And the offensive line is an area of concern. That's the price to pay.

The Pats have given Brady a weapon, but taken away a shield. We'll see if they go out and sign another offensive lineman as other teams trim their rosters. We'll see if the linemen the Patriots already have on their roster can be adequate at their position and fill in for Mankins.

Whether you like this deal, love it, hate it, or are not sure about it, you have to admit that it's bold. You trade an All-Pro offensive lineman for a second year tight-end. You improve at one position, get worse at another.

-The Captain

Photo Credit: Tom Croke/Icon SMI

Patriots Trade Logan Mankins for Shit

The Patriots are trading Logan Mankins to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for tight end Tim Wright and an undisclosed draft pick, FOX Sports’ Jay Glazer reported Tuesday. Mankins had a $10.5 million salary-cap hit for the 2014 season, and his contract ran through 2016. The draft pick will be a 2015 fourth-rounder, per ESPN’s Adam Schefter.

Read more at:

Has anyone ever seen a more panic move then this? It's a very weird trade for the Patriots. Their offensive line has diminished over the years and since Solder is all but a bust who can't keep anyone in front of him, you would think they would want to keep Mankins. Mankins is not only their best lineman, but he brought toughness to the team. Imagine if the Patriots just drafted Jace Amaro out of Texas Tech or C. J. Fiedorowicz TE out of Iowa instead of a player who needed 2 knee surgeries or a perenial back up QB on the Patriots at least.... you could have a 6 time pro bowl lineman and a TE without having to trade.

As for Tim Wright he had 54 catches for 561 yards which isn't bad. Here is some info on him. He's 6'3 and was a WR in Rutgers until they moved him to TE, he is fast for a TE running at a 4.6 40.

I guess the thinking for the Patriots is that he will take a Hernandezesk role on the team.


Tommy Kelly Released By The Patriots

NE with some notable cuts: Patriots released veteran DL Tommie Kelly and Will Smith, along with vet LB James Anderson, per league source. Schefter

You know what was really funny? Last year when the Patriots were rattling off injuries they had to the highly overrated Jerod Mayo, Vince Wilfork they would also include Tommy Kelly. That would always piss me off, you know why? Because Tommy Kelly sucked. He wasn't going to be an impact player and when he was healthy the Patriots realized he sucked and cut his ass. When they aren't wasting second round picks on back up QBs, they are wasting their time with veteran pick ups like the 3 they just here in Tommy Kelly, Will Smith and James Anderson. It's funny when they initially sign these guys Patriot fans will talk how they are steals when in reality they all suck.

What this means for the Patriots is that they have a lot of faith in Wilfork being completely healed and that the Patriots are going to run a hell of a lot more 3-4 from a defensive standpoint. Which means there will be more pressure on Chandler Jones and maybe Dominique Easley to make the opposing qb's feet uneasy.

I have always been a big supporter of 3-4 defenses and with picking up Revis will be even more helpful to that, but my main point is Tommy Kelly always sucked.

Cavs Get Kevin Love..... Whatever...

So LeBron now has a team of Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, Himself, Tristian Thompson, Kevin Love, Varajeo and Mike Miller.... whatever.

Will they be good... sure, will they score 130 ppg... sure. But I can't wait until they give up 120 a game with Irving and Love on the squad. I almost feel bad for LeBron because he's going to have to be rover this whole time to make up for defensive lapses.

They could win the championships, especially in an East where Paul George has 1 leg, and who know whats going on with Derrick Rose. However, If Rose stays healthy, if the Wizards turn it up a notch, hell Miami could still be really good, it may not be as easy for the Cavs as planned.

Prediction: Wizards beat the Cavs 4-1 in Eastern Conference playoffs. Book it.

The SOx Won The Offseason and It hasn't Even Started Yet

Rusney Casitllo may already be the best signing the Red Sox made since Pedro or Manny or Schilling. Just an absolute stud. No way this fails.

Out offense also, just became the top of the league. I'm assuming the line up card will be:

Castillo, Pedroia, Ortiz, Yoenis, Napoli, Craig, Xander, whoever

By the time it gets to the whoever part of the line up we will probably have 3/4 runs anyways. Our offense will be historically good and it will be kicked off by another Cuban.

What I am expecting from Castillo is a .285 BA, 20 Hrs, 70-80 rbis and 35-40 SBs. For a lead off man that unheard of.

Last year I pleaded with the Sox to get Jose Abreu when I wrote this and they didn't, he's turned out to be the best 1st baseman of all time.

During the end of the season I predict the Sox will not only get Lester back, but also Scherzer and will make a trade for some young pitcher who just got Tommy John for the Marlins even though he wont pitch next year.

Anyways the Sox are in beautiful shape and are winning it all next year... GUARANTEED.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Red Sox Sign Rusney Castillo for 7 years/$72.5 Million

The Red Sox have completed the signing of Cuban defector and center fielder Rusney Castillo. According to Nick Cafardo, the deal includes a $5.4 million signing bonus and $100,000 for the rest of the 2014 season. From 2015-17, he will make $10.5 million per year, and he will earn $11 million in 2018 and 2019. Castillo can opt out after the 2019 season; if he doesn’t, he will earn $13.5 million in 2020. This will group Castillo with fellow Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes in the Red Sox outfield. When Cespedes defected Castillo was his replacement on the team. Perhaps they're hoping that Cespedes can help Castillo to make the transition from Cuba to the Major Leagues as he has done so.

It's hard to get a true sense of what Castillo is as a ballplayer. The Red Sox have scouted him extensively. His build is apparently similar to that of Ron Gant or Ricky Henderson. Some have mentioned that he projects as a lead off hitter and should provide an adequate replacement for Jacoby Ellsbury, which has been lacking. His numbers in the Cuban leagues have been impressive, but it is difficult to predict how that will translate to Major League Baseball. The success of fellow Cuban defectors like Yasiel Puig, Yoenis Cespedes and Jose Abreu certainly gives hope that he can be successful here as well.

It's quite a large contract for a rookie, but he's 27 and a major league ready outfielder. He'll need some time to get into game shape and then you will most likely see him with the big club before the end of the season. I think that this will turn out to be a good move for the Red Sox. With any prospect, there is a risk involved. There is a greater risk here because of the money and time that has been committed to Castillo. At the same time, this is balanced by Castillo's greater body of work and development. There's enough evidence to be confident that Castillo will be an above average Major Leaguer and the upside to be a great player. Even if Castillo is a complete bust, a $10 Million salary should not be a serious hindrance for a club like the Boston Red Sox. As a fan, I am always happy to acquire promising young players without having to sacrifice any talent or draft picks in return.

This creates an awkward spot for the outfield talent going forward and there may be some odd men out. The Red Sox will have Shane Victorino ($13M), Allen Craig ($5.5M), Yoenis Cespedes ($10.5M) and now Castillo ($10.5M) fighting for 3 outfield spots with Jackie Bradley Jr., Daniel Nava and Mookie Betts in the minors. Perhaps they're banking on Victorino and/or Craig being hurt and they are trying to build for depth. Some have suggested that they will try and flip some of this depth to upgrade to Giancarlo Stanton. They have the flexibility to move some pieces if the right deal comes along. It's a good to start to what will undoubtedly be an important offseason.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Abundance of penalties poses health hazard to NFL refs

Friday night's Patriots pre-season game against the Eagles saw 28 flags. To put that in perspective, if officials threw state flags instead of yellow ones, starting with Alabama and throwing the flags in alphabetical order, they would have gotten to Nevada. Speaking of Nevada, how long until there is an over/under Vegas line on flags thrown in games?

The big question is, will the regular season be officiated so tightly? And a follow up to that is, what health risks will NFL officials face if they call penalties as frequently as they have in the pre-season?

Arm fatigue and rotator cuff injuries
Obviously the act of throwing flags will cause significant wear and tear on officials' arms. And don't forget all the gestures and signals officials make with their hands and arms. The illegal contact motion could cause severe strain on the triceps.

Don't be surprised if several NFL officials require Tommy John surgery before the season is over.

Carpal tunnel syndrome
Especially for the head referee, who has to switch his microphone on and off to explain penalties. All that repetitive clicking with the thumb and forefinger will take its toll.

The refs making announcements are most vulnerable to this, especially the ones who explain calls in detail. Ed Hochuli's arms might be strong enough to endure throwing all those flags, but will his pipes be able to endure explaining all of them? By November and December, refs will be hoarse, and some will have to refrain from talking as their voice boxes deteriorate.

Lower back pain
Flags thrown need to be picked up. That requires bending over. Lift from the knees, refs.

Eardrum damage
Thousands of fans booing coupled with at least one irate coach on the sideline screaming into the ear of some poor line judge. That's going to do some serious damage to the eardrum.

Mental and nervous breakdowns
I can imagine an NFL official on his day off at home watching his kids play, then one kid slightly nudges another, and when the ref reaches for a yellow flag in his belt and finds nothing there, PANIC. Refs will grow so accustomed to throwing flags at the slightest hint of contact between two other human beings, that when they're at home or at their Monday-Friday jobs, they'll have no idea what to do without that flag.

And how many times can you say "illegal contact, hands to the face," until the words lose all meaning? And then you wonder if any words had any meaning? And if words don't have meaning, do thoughts? And if thoughts have no meaning, do people? Then you fall into a catatonic state and they commit you.

At least one official will be committed to a mental institution before week 10.

All joking aside, the penalties are too much. The games are already too long, too riddled with stoppages. I'll still watch every Patriots game, of course. I think my watching of neutral games will go down. Especially the usually mediocre Thursday Night Football matchups.

My watching of NFL RedZone will go up, my watching of non-Patriots games on CBS and Fox will go down.

Maybe NFL Network could start a YellowZone. Every flag from every game. #QuadBox.

-The Captain

Friday, August 15, 2014

Red Sox fans should hate Roger Clemens for not taking steroids in Boston

I really don't care that Roger Clemens took PEDs. It shouldn't exclude him from Cooperstown eligibility. And I'm glad the Red Sox don't care about that issue with their own Hall of Fame (perhaps the Sox are thinking down the road when they want to induct David Ortiz into their HOF). Cheating was accepted by writers, owners, fans, and players when Clemens pitched. It's hypocritical and unethical for that same cheating to now be judged by the same people who let it go unchecked for years.

Roger Clemens is one of the best Red Sox pitchers of all-time. That's not saying too much. From 1920 to 1997, the Red Sox didn't have many all-time great pitchers. Jim Longborg won the Cy Young in 1966, and until Clemens came along, he was the only Red Sox pitcher to win the award. Luis Tiant had a few great years. Lefty Grove was an all-time great. Other than that, Clemens was the first HOF caliber pitcher the Sox had in decades.

But let's not forget that Clemens was a lot like Josh Beckett before Beckett was out of high school. Roger let himself go. He showed up to Spring Training out of shape. He'd get hurt. He was 10-5 on a 1995 team that won the AL East. He was 10-13 the next year. His years as an Ace seemed behind him. After all, at 34 years old, how could anyone expect him to get better?

Yet he did.

The miracle of PEDs turned Clemens' career around. At 35 he won 21 games with a 2.05 ERA and pitched 264 innings. A year later, at 36, he went 20-6 with a 2.65 ERA and 234.2 innings. He turned 39 and was in the best shape of his life when he won his next Cy Young with the Yankees, winning 20 games and throwing 220.1 innings. He won another Cy Young in Houston at 42, throwing 211.1 innings.

If you look at the dip in his performance and fitness from 1993 to 1996, when he's entering his 30s, and then compare it to his resurgence from 1997 to 2006 when he's in his late 30s and early 40s, it's pretty obvious something dramatic changed about his physical fitness regimen.

Why didn't he make that change in Boston, though? Why did he wait until he was with Toronto to start juicing?

Imagine what the 1998 Red Sox could have done with Pedro Martinez and a roided up Roger Clemens?

I will always hate Roger Clemens because he didn't try here. He got lazy, got sloppy, and he didn't give 100% until he left here.

So he's a Red Sox Hall of Famer, he should be a Baseball Hall of Famer. I don't care that he cheated, I do care that he didn't cheat here. WTF, Roger?

-The Captain

Photo Credit: Rich Pilling/MLB/Getty Images