How to Avoid Crashing, Like a Boss

That's Kyle Busch saving his car from an accident on Saturday. He had a similar incident toward the end of the race. He saved it again. Then won the race. Like a boss.

-The Commodore

P.K. Subban Doesn't Just Piss Off Bruins

According to a report on TSN, Subban was involved in a confrontation with teammate David Desharnais at Thursday's practice. The report indicates Subban dumped Desharnais to the ice, and Desharnais responded by cross checking and slashing Subban before teammates stepped in to prevent the situation from getting worse. This wouldn't be major news in and of itself, but this is the fourth reported confrontation Subban has had with a teammate this season.

This has led to there being a lot of rumors he could be run out of town. With the Bruins looking for another defenseman, this guy has to be on their radar. Listen, he is an asshole, but he is one of those guys you hate when he isn't on your team, but love when he is on your team. Basically, he is Marchand, but a defenseman.

Subban on the season is a +3 on the season, which isn't all that impressive until you think about how bad the Canadiens are this year. Montreal is in last place in the Eastern Conference.

I doubt the Canadiens would trade a 22 year old defenseman within their own division, especially the Bruins, but it's interesting to think about anyways.

Scary Start To The Red Sox Season

I was thinking last night about what the keys to the Red Sox season would be. Obviously they need their starters to be healthy, and someone to step up in the backend. They need the bullpen to handle all the changes that have come, and they need to figure out what they are going to do with their catcher/RF/SS spots in the bottom of their lineup. We have been over all that time and again though, so I was trying to think more about the team as a whole.

I think one of the keys is a fast start. Last season ended so bad that they really need to come out and start hot, so that fans (and themselves) will start to believe that last year is behind them. If not, this season could get ugly, really fast. If they come out of the gate losing you are going to hear more and more about trading your starting SS for nothing to save money. Your going to hear about not spending money on a back rotation pitcher, and so on and so forth.

This team does have a lot of talent. Not many teams have a top end of the rotation that has the "talent" of Beckett, Lester, Buchholz. Not a lot of teams have a top of a lineup that consists of guys like Ellsbury, Youk, Pedroia, Crawford, Gonzalez, Ortiz. Yet, if this team starts slow, the pressure in this town could get out of control, and you can already see the fanbase is out for blood. Hell, read Captain's post earlier today.

Ok, so we have come to the conclusion that they need to start fast. Here's the problem... The schedule is going to make that very, very hard to do.

Apr 5 @Det 1:05 PM
Apr 7 @Det 1:05 PM
Apr 8 @Det 1:05 PM
Apr 9 @Tor 7:07 PM
Apr 10 @Tor 7:07 PM
Apr 11 @Tor 12:37 PM
Apr 13 TB 2:05 PM
Apr 14 TB 4:05 PM
Apr 15 TB 1:35 PM
Apr 16 TB 11:05 AM
Apr 17 Tex 7:10 PM
Apr 18 Tex 7:10 PM
Apr 20 NYY 3:05 PM
Apr 21 NYY 4:05 PM
Apr 22 NYY 7:05 PM

That's the first 15 games right there. Pretty fucking rough if you ask me. No one wants to start the year having to go against Verlander, especially into a ballpark that is going to be going bonkers after signing Fielder. Then on to Toronto, which always seems to give the Red Sox trouble. They finally get home and they get the Rays and their crazy pitching staff, then Texas, then the Yankees. If the Red Sox get out of the beginning of the season going 7-8 or better I'd be damn impressed.

Why Not?

I think all of our viewers should go and do this?

Red Sox In On Jorge Soler

UPDATE:ESPNBoston.com's Gordon Edes reportsFriday morning that a Red Sox official has indicated the club is very much interested in Soler. The source seemed to think that the best course of action for the team that inks the 19-year-old outfielder would be to send him to A-ball. ESPN

Jorge Soler is going to be a better prospect than recently signed Yoenis Cespedes and has a serious impact bat with the tools behind him. If Soler were to be in the MLB draft he would have been a top 3 pick and would easily be the top Sox prospect in their farm.

With that being said, he's 19 , so he would need years to develop to his full potential and I have heard rumors that he would take around 30 million dollars to get. With this kid, I believe it's worth it.

I know the Sox have been disappointing this whole offseason, but this signing would be a great commitment towards the future.

C'Mon Ben

Bill Simmons Is A Fucking Moron

Bob sent me this Bill Simmons article and thought it was funny because he's secretly anti Celtics and enjoys when people make fun of them, especially my favorite player Rajon Rondo.

Anyways, moving away from Bob and onto someone who knows even less than Bob about basketball, Bill Simmons. Bill Simmons stopped being funny years ago, and I haven't found anything he has done in 7 years funny or even informational. He is a dumbass that is living in LA and trying so hard to stay cool in Boston.

Anyways onto this article, I'll give you the ones that made me spit out my coffee;
Ordway: "Unfortunately, it's been slim pickings for Celtics fans ever since. You drafted poorly; you signed a slew of washed-up veterans; your biggest trade completely backfired; you haven't uncovered a single gem; and you've managed to piss off all the starters on your team by repeatedly throwing them into trade talks, then ADMITTING IT PUBLICLY while calling these players old. It's been quite a run. Let's bring out two of those lousy signings right now … ladies and gentlemen, Keyon Dooling and Chris Wilcox!"

Dooling: "Danny, you could have signed reliable bench players like Kurt Thomas, Reggie Evans, Shannon Brown, Earl Watson, Mike Dunleavy — "

Wilcox: "Or, you could have waited and held your free-agent exceptions for a chance at Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith or maybe even Aaron Brooks

and later on
(Sam) Presti: "If you want to improve this year's team, turn your expiring contracts — KG, Ray, Chris, Keyon and Jermaine — into better players and don't worry about cap space. For instance, let's say you offered KG's expiring contract to Dallas for Shawn Marion and Lamar Odom — Cuban might jump at that because he's desperately trying to clear money for Dwight and Deron this summer. He needs to dump Marion's deal to do it. That's why you see him on Twitter pimping Marion to boost his trade value — it's comical. Turn KG into Odom and Marion and you're better right away — Marion is still one of the league's best defensive players. Plus, you'd save about $4 million in tax money."

Presti: "Anyway, offer them Rondo and Jermaine O'Neal's expiring for Gasol, a deal which saves them $24 million in tax money these next three years. I can't imagine them turning it down. You'd need a point guard, too, so offer Ray to the Clippers for Mo Williams and Eric Bledsoe. They desperately need a two-guard; they might be dumb enough to say yes. If they turn it down, settle on Mo and a future first for Ray, if only because it's always good to own two first-rounders from the league's most jinxed franchise. Mo's contract expires next year, and you can always re-sign Ray this summer."

Presti: "Look at your new team — Gasol, Brandon Bass, Marion, Pierce and Mo Williams as starters, with Odom, Wilcox, Pietrus and Bradley as your first four subs. If Gasol and Odom get going, that's a dangerous 6-seed in the East, right?"

He claims that Danny Ainge hasn't made a good move in 4 years and claims PJ Brown is the last good move he made. That's absolute nonsense, he glossed completely over the fact we heisted Brandon Bass for Glen Davis (who is having the worst year of his career)

Was I a little surprised he spent 3 mil on Chris Wilcox? Hell yea, I hate him, but I get the logic, we need a athletic, big man and he was the only one around. There was nobody else available, and I doubt we would have been happy if we saved the contract for mid season for a chance to get JR Smith, Kenyon Martin or Wilson Chandler.

So now he wants Gasol, Brandon Bass, Marion, Pierce and Mo Williams as starters, with Lamaw Odom being the 6th man, c'mon man? Have you seen Lamar Odom play? He may be having a worst year than Big Baby. With the Pierce/ Marion tandum out there, one of them would have to play the 2 guard, which they would be completely out of place. And Mo Williams mentioned in any situation to lead a team is never a good thing. This guy is a gunner that masks for a point guard, no thank you.

What people are lacking to think is that;
Simmons is a fruitcake
We are in the 5th year of a 3 year plan
A quarter from a 2nd title
Everyone passed on DeAndre Jordan, it ended up being a good pick up by the Clippers
We are old, and it's becoming evident. Although I still hold hope, I get it that there is a great chance we dont win a title this year.

Carl Crawford Whines About His Spot in the Batting Order

Carl Crawford is a good teammate. And like so many of his Red Sox teammates, he's found an excuse for his lackluster performance in 2011. Instead of taking responsibility for his lack of success, or maybe looking forward to the opportunities that 2012 presented, Crawford made excuses for why he sucked so badly in 2011.

It was the batting order. He wasn't used to batting in the bottom third of the order, and that somehow affected his swing.

Wow.

You know what, this is baseball. Hitting is something between the batter and the pitcher. The baseball batter picks up his baseball bat, then steps into the baseball batter's box, and tries to hit the baseball thrown by the pitcher. Does it matter that some lineup card taped to the wall of the dugout has you listed as #2 or #7?

Step up to the plate and try to hit the ball!

This is a team of excuse makers. Everybody has an answer for everything. Even the owners blamed Francona. Crawford is just being one of the guys, one of the team.

If Crawford hits .300 in April and the Sox win, then nobody will care about what's been said in this offseason. But right now, before the Sox have even played an exhibition game in 2011, the Sox are still vomiting excuses all over the place. And it's sickening.

Could you imagine a hockey player publicly whining about being on the 3rd line and not the 2nd line? How about a football player moaning about being on special teams?

But baseball is a game conducive to whining and complaints. And if that was what won games, the Red Sox would be World Champions.

-The Commodore

Ryan Braun Making A Mockery Of Baseball

During the hearing, Braun's side challenged the chain of custody from the time the urine sample was collected by Comprehensive Drug Testing Inc. to when it was sent, nearly 48 hours later, to a World Anti-Doping Agency-certified laboratory in Montreal, two people familiar with the case said. They spoke on condition of anonymity because what took place in the hearing is supposed to be confidential. ESPN

A lack of a correct chain of custody was the reason. 1st Braun used the whole herpes medication excuse and now he he is using the whole "It wasn't mine" referring to his sample.

They believe because they lack a chain of custody they believe it wasn't Ryan Braun's sample. This was enough to get Braun off of the hook for a 50 game suspension. However, he's guilty in my eyes. He didn't get off because they redid the sample and it showed different results, he got off for a technicality.

There has been a couple of instances in the MLB where people got away with Steroids. Like Manny for instance, he should have been suspended for 100 games, but since he retired last year, he comes back and the suspension is 50 games? Why?

I believe in my hear of hearts, that he did it. He got off on a technicality and should be suspended.

I also think the MLB need to test Jacoby Ellsbury and Curtis Granderson, those guys are definitely juicing.

Packers Resign Jermichael Finley

The Packers and Finley have agreed on a 2 year deal worth $15 million. Finley caught 55 receptions for 767 yards in 2011, and to be honest I think the Packers overpaid for this guy. He gets hurt all the time, and drops the ball way too much. I thought one of the reasons the offense wasn't as good in the 2nd half was the fall off of play in Finley. My opinion is this offense is good enough to get by without Finley and that cap space could've been better used on a defense that was at the bottom of the barrel.

Also, this deal should really concern us Patriots fans. If Finley is worth that, what are Hernandez and Gronk worth? Gronk worth somewhere over $10 million? Well, whatever the Patriots don't have to deal with that for two more year, but if those guys keep putting up great stats they are going to get paid.

What's The Deal With Roy Oswalt? (UPDATED)

So we have been waiting for a long time now for Oswalt to land somewhere. There are rumors that could happen today, the problem is there are no rumors as to which team. There are supposedly 3 teams that were interested in him (Red Sox, Cardinals, Rangers).

The Cardinals GM has come out and said he is not going to land in St. Louis. Jon Heyman of CBSSports.com says there is 0 chance of him going to the Rangers or Red Sox.

Out of the 3 the Red Sox make the most sense. He fits in perfectly into the bottom half of the rotation, but I don't think he wants to be here, and we have seen time and again the Red Sox are not looking to add to their payroll.

That makes me thing Roy Oswalt could retire, or at the very least let everyone sit around and overpay for him 1/2 way through the season when an injury or something happens.

***UPDATED***

"Roy Oswalt has told MLB teams that he may sign midseason, ESPN.com's Jerry Crasnick reports. The free agent right-hander explained that he intends to stay ready in case an appealing opportunity emerges before midseason (MLBTradeRumors)."

Mikhail Prokhorov Rapping

He's amazing

Crawford's Excuse

Crawford has been putting it out there that his problems last year were caused by two things. One, that his stance got out of whack, and he was opening up his hips too much, which was caused by "thing two".

Two was where he was batting in the Red Sox lineup. He said as a 6th/7th hitter he couldn't be himself. He has slow guys in front of him (Ortiz/Gonzalez), and he felt that he needed to hit for power, causing him to mess up his swing.

To a certain extent I'll buy it. Crawford was a man without a spot in the lineup. A lot of that goes back to "why the hell did we sign this guy", because he really doesn't fit in this lineup. He wants to bat 2nd. That's awesome, but that's where Pedroia hits. So to fit Crawford into this lineup they are going to have to push Pedroia back to 3rd, which then pushes Gonzalez to 4th, Ortiz to 5th, Youk to 6th.

That makes the lineup L, L, R, L, L. That was a big no-no in the Francona system, but maybe that won't be the case here.

Moving on from endless lineup changes/ideas, is if that will be enough? How long will be Red Sox be able to bat him there is he isn't producing. Let's say that after a month Crawford is once again batting like .240, can they move him without him throwing a fit?

I don't disagree at all with Crawford is doing. It makes a lot of sense. Throw the manager who isn't here anymore under the bus (right or wrong), say he has fixed his swing, and lobby for his "correct" spot in the lineup. I am actually fine with all of that, as long as he turns back into Tampa Bay Carl Crawford.

All we can do is sit back and hope.

Guy From Supertroopers and Seinfeld's botched Suicide Attempt

TMZ - Daniel von Bargen — who played Mr. Kruger in “Seinfeld” — is clinging to life in an Ohio hospital after shooting himself in the head Monday morning in a failed suicide attempt … and TMZ has the horrifying 911 tape in which he calls for help. Daniel tells the 911 operator, “I’ve shot myself in the head … and I need help.” The operator asks if it was an accident – Daniel replies, “I was supposed to go to the hospital and I didn’t want to.” Daniel says he’s diabetic, explaining, “They were supposed to amputate at least a few toes.” The operator asks where the gunshot wound is — Daniel replies, “I shot in my temple.” Law enforcement officials confirm they were dispatched to von Bargen’s Cincinnati apartment complex a short time later — and when they arrived, you can hear them on the 911 tape … yelling at Daniel to keep his hands where they could see them. Von Bargen — who also played Chief Grady in “Super Troopers” — was transported to a nearby hospital where he is currently in critical condition.

Jesus Christ man. Not you, there is no way that he could have tried to shoot himself in the face. He may be some of the most undervalued characters in the history of comedies in Mr. Kruger from Seinfeld and Chief Grady in Super Troopers. Based on those 2 characters alone, I would never have suspected suicide.

What an awful botch job too. Shooting yourself in the head is pretty self explanatory and he somehow messed it up. It's pretty hard to resume a career or anything after this. I mean if I were to go out, I don't think it would be a gun, that's too much pressure, he should have stuck to pills, that way if it doesn't work, you don't have a hole in your head. I'm sure living in Cincinnati didn't help either, that place is the worst.

Why Not?

Just racism at it's finest